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Transcript
This is a transcribed copy of The Engagement. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: N/A Next: Guess Who's Coming to the Wedding
ACT 1
Speaker Dialogue
SCENE: 6151 Richmond Street, early evening. DOROTHY enters the house after a long day's work, and her bag down in the living room. She enters the kitchen, where COCO is cooking at the stove.
DOROTHY I taught a class today, the finest school in Dade County. Two girls had shaved heads, and three boys had green hair.
COCO They're expressing themselves.
DOROTHY Well, I expressed myself. I told them to leave, they were too ugly to look at. Now the parents are mad. A father in a three-piece suit came in and defended Tiffany, a bald girl with a nose ring.
DOROTHY looks at what COCO is making.
DOROTHY What's that?
COCO Enchillads rancheros.
DOROTHY Why don't you just shoot me?
DOROTHY sits down at the kitchen table. ROSE enters from the door to the garage.
ROSE Hi.
DOROTHY Oh, hi, Rose.
ROSE What a day. One sad person after another.
DOROTHY Rose, you work at grief counseling. WHad do you expect, comedians?
ROSE Well, it'd be a nice change of pace.
ROSE sits down at the table with DOROTHY. BLANCHE enters wearing DOROTHY's mink stole, all dolled up for an evening on the town.
BLANCHE Dorothy, can I borrow your mink stole?
DOROTHY It's Miami in June, only cats are wearing fur.
ROSE (pouring herself something to drink) You going out?
DOROTHY No, no. She's going to sit here where it's 112 degrees and eat enchilladas.
BLANCHE goes to the refrigerator, takes out a bag of cucumber slices.
BLANCHE I just need some cucumbers to put on my eyes.
DOROTHY You'll have trouble seeing, Blanche.
BLANCHE It's very good, it reduces puffiness.
ROSE Does it work on thighs?
BLANCHE I don't know, honey. I don't need it on my thighs.
BLANCHE exits. Rose tries to get up and follow her, but Dorothy stops her and has her sit back down at the table. COCO leaves his place at the stove.
ROSE Who's she going out with?
COCO Harry...again.
COCO exits through the door to the garage.
DOROTHY Harry? Who is Harry?
DOROTHY gets up and goes to the counter, grabbing a bowl of something to eat.
ROSE All Blanche said was he still has his own teeth and hair.
DOROTHY (walking back over to the table) Oh, it is wonderful dating in Miami. All the single men under 80 are cocaine smugglers.
DOROTHY sits back down at the table.
ROSE You know, I'd kill to be 20 again.
DOROTHY Oh, I'd kill to be 40 again. You know, I had the shock of my life today.
DOROTHY I was in the teacher's lounge talkign to a group of girls in their twenties. They were so pretty. At that age, you don't even have to be pretty, and you're pretty. Anyway, we were laughing and giggling and having a great time, and I completely forgot that I was older. I just felt like...one of the girls. And we had a wonderful time.
DOROTHY Then I got into my car and caught a glimpse of myself, and I almost had a heart attack. This old woman was in the mirror. I didn't even recognize her.

ROSE

...who was it?
DOROTHY pauses for a long time, then glares at ROSE.
DOROTHY It was me!
ROSE Oh!
BLANCHE enters the kitchen, no longer wearing the mink stole.
BLANCHE Rose, I'm borrowing your earrings. Lord, I'd love to get a facelift by 8:00.
BLANCHE starts to exit the kitchen, but stops when Dorothy calls after her.
DOROTHY Blanche! Who is Harry?
BLANCHE Oh, girls, he's just wonderful. He's very gallant. He's a perfect gentleman, he's a great dancer. And he doesn't make noises when he chews.
DOROTHY Chewing, that's way up there on my list. Comes right after intelligent.
BLANCHE He doesn't talk loud at the movies, doesn't take his own pulse, and...he's still interested.
ROSE In what?
Long pause.
DOROTHY (taking ROSE'S hand) Rose, if you have to ask, then it does not matter anymore.
BLANCHE And...he proposed.
BLANCHE exits the kitchen. DOROTHY and ROSE exchange shocked looks. They get up and follow her.
ROSE Blanche!
BLANCHE enters the living room, followed by ROSE and DOROTHY.
ROSE He proposed?! You've only known him a week!
BLANCHE And he wants an answer tonight.
DOROTHY Tonight? To...Blanche, what're you going to tell him?
BLANCHE I don't know. You know, he's very wonderful, but I have only known him for a week.
ROSE That's right.
BLANCHE But I don't want to lose him. Oh, girls. I just don't know what I'm gonna tell him. I have to go put on my face.
BLANCHE exits through the lanai. DOROTHY and ROSE move STAGE RIGHT as they talk.
ROSE What if she marries him? What's going to happen to us? This house is hers.
DOROTHY (sits down in one of the chairs) Then we'll move.
ROSE We can't move. What do we have for collateral? A gay cook?
DOROTHY Oh, come on, Rose. Nobody is getting married. (gets up from the chair) Now let's go talk to Blanche.
DOROTHY and ROSE walk to the entrance to the lanai.
ROSE Dorothy! We'll become bag ladies!
DOROTHY stops walking, looks at ROSE strangely. The two exit through the lanai entrance.
SCENE: Blanche's bedroom. BLANCHE sits at her vanity applying lipstick when she hears a knock at her door.
DOROTHY, off-screen Blanche?
BLANCHE Come in.
DOROTHY and ROSE enter, walk over to the vanity.
DOROTHY Blanche, Blanche your friend Harry wants an answer tonight. What are you going to tell him?
BLANCHE I haven't decided. (smiles) I guess I'll know when I hear it come out of my mouth.
DOROTHY You'll know when you hear it come out of your mouth? This isn't a belch, Blanche. This is marriage!
DOROTHY looks at BLANCHE's vanity. There is a large collection of makeup on it.
DOROTHY Would you look at this? She has more colors than Benjamin Moore Paints.
ROSE puts her hands on BLANCHE'S shoulders, as if to comfort her.
ROSE You mustn't rush into anything, Blanche. You hardly know him.
BLANCHE I just wonder what my husband George would think about me and Harry.
DOROTHY Well, if he was alive, he probably would not like it. But since he's dead, I don't think it poses a problem.
BLANCHE I just want him to know that I'm happy, but that I could never be as happy with Harry in the same way as I was with him.
ROSE He knows, Blanche. He knows. All your thoughts and feelings go right to him. Right, Dorothy?
DOROTHY Oh, don't ask me. I couldn't get through to New Jersey with MCI.
OFF-SCREEN: The doorbell rings. ROSE and DOROTHY move towards the bedroom door.
BLANCHE That's him, he's early! I haven't finished my face.
DOROTHY The only thing left is to dip it in bronze. We'll get it. (DOROTHY and ROSE exit.)
BLANCHE Thanks!
SCENE: LIVING ROOM. ROSE and DOROTHY go over to the front door.
DOROTHY (preparing to open the front door) I wonder what he looks like.
ROSE I just hope that he doesn't have hair in his ears.
DOROTHY pauses, slowly looks over at ROSE. ROSE shudders and grimaces to ilustrate her point. DOROTHY stares at her for a moment, then opens the front door. SOPHIA enters, carrying a large brown paper bag with her belongings. DOROTHY and ROSE, surprised, let her pass.
SOPHIA Hi, there.
DOROTHY Ma!
SOPHIA enters the living room.
DOROTHY Ma, what's the matter?
SOPHIA (setting down her bag) Everyone is fine. No one died. The home burned down.
DOROTHY My god, are you alright?! How did you get here?
SOPHIA I hitched.
DOROTHY Oh, Ma!
SOPHIA A cab! I took a cab.
DOROTHY Well, you should've called!
SOPHIA I'm perfectly capable of managing by myself. I don't need help. I'm a totally independent person.
DOROTHY I know, I know.
SOPHIA I need $67 for the cab.
DOROTHY is shocked.
DOROTHY $67?! (she realizes that Sophia is serious) Ma, Ma, this is crazy. The home is fifteen minutes from here!
SOPHIA My cab driver is Cuban. He said there was an additional tax for a bilingual driver.
DOROTHY I'll take care of him.
DOROTHY grabs her purse from the coffee table, exits STAGE RIGHT. ROSE guides SOPHIA onto the couch.
ROSE Sit down, Sophia. You must be exhausted.
SOPHIA Why? I rode in the cab, I didn't push it.
BLANCHE enters, wearing a mink stole and a full face of makeup. She is pleasantly surprised by SOPHIA'S arrival.
BLANCHE Oh, Sophia, honey! How nice to see you!
SOPHIA Who are you?
BLANCHE It's me, Blanche.
SOPHIA You look like a prostitute.
ROSE looks aghast by SOPHIA'S language. BLANCHE appears to stifle a laugh.
ROSE Sophia, the things you say! She didn't mean that, Blanche.
SOPHIA Of course I mean it! Look at her! My cab driver would fall in love!
SOPHIA gets up from the couch, walks STAGE LEFT to the kitchen door.
SOPHIA Can I get something to eat, or is the fancy man in the kitchen?
SOPHIA exits into the kitchen. ROSE stands up from the couch.
ROSE The way she talks...!
BLANCHE She can't help it.
ROSE (scoffs) I've known plenty of women who've had strokes. Some of them are in very bad shape, but they're still ladies.
BLANCHE But Rose, this stroke destroyed the part of her brain that censors what she says. She just says whatever she thinks, she can't help it.
SOPHIA enters from STAGE LEFT, carrying a snack.
SOPHIA He's an okay petunia.
DOROTHY enters from STAGE RIGHT, carrying her purse and looking angry. She shuts the front door.
DOROTHY Ma. Ma, the cab driver says you promised him a $67 tip?!
SOPHIA Don't be silly, I said a six, seven dollar tip! Why don't these people learn English if they're going to live here? This is Miami! (sits down in a chair) I'd have less trouble getting around Ecuador!
The doorbell rings. BLANCHE goes to answer the door.
BLANCHE Oh, I'll get it.
BLANCHE opens the door. HARRY is standing in the doorway.
BLANCHE Harry!
HARRY Ah, my pretty!
HARRY enters the house as he talks, taking BLANCHE'S hands and kissing them.
BLANCHE Everybody, this is Harry. Harry, this is Rose.
HARRY greets ROSE.
BLANCHE And Dorothy.
HARRY greets DOROTHY.
BLANCHE And this is Sophia.
HARRY Well, you must be Blanche's sister.
SOPHIA You must be blind.
HARRY stares at SOPHIA, a bit shocked. BLANCHE chuckles.
BLANCHE Sophia's home just burned down.
HARRY Why, that's terrible!
SOPHIA Not to me. It was a retirement home, and you know what they did? They set off the fire alarm in a retirement home. Who can rush? Half the people have walkers, the other half can't get out of their chairs. But they got bells going off like crazy. You know what that does to hearts that only beat a few times a week? (shakes her head) It's not pretty.
HARRY guides BLANCHE to the door.
HARRY Uh, we'd better go. We have reservations.
SOPHIA I hope he's taking you to a cold climate.
HARRY Good night. Thanks, ladies. It was a pleasure.
DOROTHY It was nice meeting you, Harry! Have fun!
HARRY and BLANCHE exit through the front door.
SOPHIA The man is a scuzzball.
DOROTHY throws her hands up and walks STAGE LEFT towards SOPHIA. She stops by SOPHIA'S chair, and the two exchange pointed looks. ROSE sits down on the couch, despaired.
ROSE This is so sad. We were all so lonely, and then by a miracle, we found each other.
DOROTHY Rose, we both answered an ad to share Blanche's house that we found in the supermarket. It was not the Resurrection. It is hardly a miracle.
ROSE To me it was a miracle! Because we were happy.
ROSE (sighs) It's not fair, you know. I mean, we get married, we have kids, the kids leave, and our husbands die. Is that some kind of a test?
As ROSE speaks, DOROTHY sits next to her on the couch and holds her hand.
ROSE You don't...you don't work that hard, you don't go through everything you go through just to end up alone. I mean, we are alone, Dorothy. We really are. Our families are gone, and we're alone. And there are too many years left, and I don't know what to do.
SOPHIA Get a poodle.
ROSE and DOROTHY turn to look at SOPHIA. SOPHIA takes a bite of her snack.
SCENE: 6151 Richmond Street, the lanai, night. ROSE, DOROTHY, and COCO are sitting on the lanai in their pajamas as COCO pours them some iced tea. ROSE takes a glass.
ROSE It's yes. I know it is. She's going to marry him.
DOROTHY Oh, come on, Rose.
ROSE Well, she can't help it! Blanche needs a man. She told me when George died, she made a date at the funeral. Oh, not that she didn't love George. She can't...be without a man. You know what I'm saying?
ROSE makes some subtle motions with her glass to illustrate her point. DOROTHY is silent.
DOROTHY What am I doing up? (As she speaks, she sets down her glass of iced tea and gets up.) I'm subbing for a teacher who was shot by a student. I need all the sleep I can get.
DOROTHY exits the lanai, STAGE RIGHT. As ROSE speaks, ROSE and COCO follow her into the living room.
ROSE I used to sleep so well. I never even turned over. I'd wake up with a perfect hairdo.
ROSE (laughs) Charlie, on the other hand, moves all night long. (She sits down in a chair.) His side of the bed looks like a murder took place.
DOROTHY Rose, Charlie is dead.
COCO Why tell her?
COCO walks STAGE LEFT towards the kitchen.
ROSE I know he's dead. I'm not crazy. I just like to talk about him in the present tense sometimes. Makes him feel closer.
COCO That's fine, Rose. You do that. I don't mind at all.
DOROTHY Sure, Rose. Set a place at the table.
BLANCHE enters the house carrying the stole she was wearing. ROSE, DOROTHY and COCO all move STAGE RIGHT to greet her.
BLANCHE Well, hi!
DOROTHY What happened?
BLANCHE Oh, we had the nicest time. We went to Joe's, have you ever been to Joe's?
DOROTHY Yes, what happened?
BLANCHE I had the stone crabs. I never had stone crabs. You ever have stone crabs?
DOROTHY What happened?
As she talks, BLANCHE sets down the stole and sits down in one of the chairs.
BLANCHE I was just so relieved they didn't have eyes. I can't eat anything with eyes, like lobster.
ROSE I can't eat anything that moves.
DOROTHY Like what, Rose? Horses?
ROSE Like oysters!
COCO Oysters don't move!
DOROTHY (turns to Coco and Rose and shouts) Coco, they could dance! Who cares?!
DOROTHY (turns back to Blanche) Tell us.
ROSE Oysters move! Very slowly! You have to watch very closely!
DOROTHY stares at ROSE and ROSE backs off.
DOROTHY Blanche, are you going to marry Harry?
BLANCHE (giggling) Marry Harry, marry Harry.
ROSE (laughs) A little rhyme.
DOROTHY Knock it off. Are you?
BLANCHE is silent for a moment, still very giggly.
BLANCHE Yes. Next week.
DOROTHY, ROSE and COCO are shocked by the news.
ACT 2
Speaker Dialogue
SCENE: 6151 Richmond Street, living room, night. BLANCHE has revealed that she is marrying HARRY, and ROSE, DOROTHY, and COCO are shaken by the news.
ROSE I knew it. I knew she was going to marry him.
DOROTHY But...next week?
BLANCHE At our age, long engagements don't make sense. (She gets up from the chair and grabs the stole.) I have to go to bed.
ROSE Where will you live?
BLANCHE Well, here.
ROSE Where will we live?
DOROTHY Oh, don't worry about it. We'll live, we'll live.
BLANCHE Oh, I hadn't thought of that.
ROSE It's just so hard to find a place to live.
BLANCHE Well, you can just stay right here.
ROSE Well, that's settled.
DOROTHY Oh, Rose! How can we stay here with her and Harry?
BLANCHE Well, you certainly can until you find a place!
ROSE However long that takes.
BLANCHE walks towards her bedroom.
BLANCHE We're going to New York for the honeymoon. I just hope I don't get murdered.
BLANCHE exits. DOROTHY and ROSE sit down on the couch.
ROSE Charlie and I waited two whole years before we got married.
DOROTHY I got married before my father finished the sentence.
ROSE (looks at Dorothy in shock) You married your father?!
DOROTHY cringes for a brief moment.
DOROTHY My father told Stan that he had to marry me. I was pregnant.
ROSE You had a blowgun wedding?!
DOROTHY If you live in the Amazon. In Queens, it's called shotgun.
ROSE Well, maybe that's why he left. Because you forced him into it.
DOROTHY Rose, he left me thirty-eight years later for a stewardess that he met on a business trip to Hawaii. It was her first flight. They said, ‘On arrival, give the passengers a lei.’ She got confused, he got lucky, and they now live on Maui.
DOROTHY It's really wonderful. A sixty-five year old man with gout learning to windsurf. I hope he trips on his thong and falls into a volcano.
SOPHIA enters from STAGE LEFT.
SOPHIA Oh, it's you!
ROSE Oh, Sophia, did we wake you?
SOPHIA I heard voices. I thought it was robbers, so I hid my jewels. Now I can't remember where.
DOROTHY Ma, you don't have any jewels!
SOPHIA Thank God, because I can't find them.
SOPHIA sits down in a chair. COCO enters from the kitchen, STAGE LEFT.
COCO Tea, Sophia?
SOPHIA How about a shot of gin with a beer back?
COCO begins clearing the glasses of tea as the ladies talk.
ROSE That was dumb of me to have tea this late. I'll go to sleep and have to get up and go.
DOROTHY Yeah, and wake me up. You know, if you didn't drink before bedtime, you wouldn't have to wake up in the middle of the night.
ROSE I don't drink before bedtime! I stop all liquids at noon, and I still wake up.
SOPHIA I never have that problem. Never. I sleep like a log. I never get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I go in the morning. Every morning like clockwork. At 7:00 AM, I pee.
SOPHIA Unfortunately, I don't wake up til 8:00.
ROSE and DOROTHY stare at SOPHIA.
TIME LAPSE: One week later. SCENE: 6151 Richmond Street, Blanche's bedroom, early afternoon. DOROTHY is in BLANCHE'S bedroom, waiting for her to come out of the bathroom. ROSE enters, looking worried.
ROSE Where's Blanche?
DOROTHY In the bathroom.
ROSE I've got to talk to you.
DOROTHY What is it?
ROSE I know it sounds crazy, but...I'm suspicious.
DOROTHY Of what?
ROSE Harry.
DOROTHY Harry?
ROSE And I don't know why. There's just something about it I don't like, and I have to tell Blanche.
DODORTHY Tell Blanche what?
ROSE That she can't marry him!
DOROTHY The wedding is in twelve minutes! You can't tell her that!
ROSE I owe it to her! I'm her friend!
DOROTHY But there's nothing to tell her! This is just some crazy hunch.
ROSE My hunches are never wrong. Mrs. Gandhi would still be alive today if she had taken my call.
DOROTHY pauses for a brief moment.
ROSE I'm going to tell her.
DOROTHY (grabs Rose as she tries to walk past her) You are not. I will not let you!
BLANCHE enters, crying. DOROTHY and ROSE immediately stop fighting.
BLANCHE I can't stop crying. I'm so happy and so sad. Kind of a happy sad.
ROSE Speaking of sad, Blanche...
DOROTHY Shut up, Rose.
ROSE She's crying already. What's the difference?
DOROTHY Rose, pick that up. (She picks up something on Blanche's vanity and throws it behind her.)
BLANCHE I just can't believe it. I'm getting married! What do you think about that?
ROSE I think it's a mistake.
DOROTHY To wear all that makeup.
BLANCHE I know it's fast, but I just don't know when I'll find another like him. He just... (BLANCHE goes over to her bed, sits down with DOROTHY and ROSE.) Oh, girls, girls, he makes me feel so good, so young, so happy.
DOROTHY Aw. Rose, did you hear that? So happy.
ROSE forces a very obviously fake smile. BLANCHE gets up from the bed.
BLANCHE Now I have to go to the bathroom again. (She walks towards her bathroom.) When I get nervous, I have to go all the time. That's why I'm getting married here at the house. Public bathrooms are so difficult for me. I wash my hands so thoroughly, and then I find it so hard to get out again without touching the doorknob.
BLANCHE enters her bathroom.
ROSE (shouts) Don't!
DOROTHY Uh, be too long!
DOROTHY grabs ROSE from behind and covers her mouth.
DOROTHY Rose, that is a happy woman in there. Now, I want you to promise that you will not say anything. (She forces Rose to nod.) Do you promise?
BLANCHE returns from the bathroom, DOROTHY pretends that she was hugging ROSE to cover their tracks.
BLANCHE Well, what's got me so sad... (She sees Rose and Dorothy pretending to hug.) Oh...Oh, I just...
BLANCHE goes over to them and hugs them.
BLANCHE I just never, never had two better friends. I just can't stand the thought of leaving you.
DOROTHY Oh, Blanche, you look gorgeous. Shut up, Rose.
DOROTHY Are you ready?
BLANCHE (exiting to her bathroom, STAGE LEFT.) Yes, I guess!
ROSE (shouts) Stop!
DOROTHY grabs ROSE and shoves her into BLANCHE'S closet just as BLANCHE comes back into the bedroom. COCO enters from STAGE RIGHT.
COCO The minister's here!
BLANCHE Oh, I need perfume!
DOROTHY (picks up some perfume from BLANCHE'S vanity.) Perfume, perfume. Come on, let's go.
BLANCHE and DOROTHY exit STAGE RIGHT as DOROTHY sprays her with perfume. COCO goes over to BLANCHE'S bed and smooths out the bedspread, but is interrupted by ROSE knocking from inside the closet.
TIME LAPSE. SCENE: Living room, half an hour past wedding time. BLANCHE is looking out the front door while her roommates, COCO, and the MINISTER are in the living room. HARRY has still not arrived, and she is getting worried. COCO goes over to BLANCHE to comfort her.
BLANCHE He's a half-hour late.
COCO He probably got caught in traffic.
MINISTER Ladies, I'm on a tight schedule. This is Miami. I've got funerals backed up.
COCO Give us a few minutes, please.
MINISTER Five minutes more, then I've got to bury Mr. Pinkus.
The doorbell rings, much to BLANCHE'S elation. She runs over to the front door.
COCO You see?
BLANCHE answers the front door, only to see a police officer on the porch.
POLICEMAN Is there a Blanche Hollingsworth here?
BLANCHE (fearful) Oh, God, he's been killed.
POLICEMAN Arrested.
BLANCHE What?
POLICEMAN He gave me this to give to you. (He hands Blanche an envelope containing a letter from Harry.) He's a bigamist, ma'am. He's wanted in four states. He's got six wives. You got yourself mixed up with a real hustler. (He tips his hat, offering his condolences.) I'm sorry.
The POLICEMAN exits. The MINISTER gets up from the chair and exits through the front door.
MINISTER Well, you won't be needing me today.
BLANCHE stands in the living room, completely in shock. DOROTHY goes over to her, offering comfort.
DOROTHY Blanche, do you want to read the note?
BLANCHE shakes her head.
DOROTHY Do you want me to read it to you?
BLANCHE hesitantly nods. DOROTHY takes the letter and opens it, reading it aloud.
DOROTHY "Dear Blanche, I guess you know by now. I'm really sorry. The thing is, I really liked you. This time was different. You're a special lady. Maybe someday you'll write to me. Harry."
BLANCHE (quietly) Oh, God. I'm stunned. I'm just stunned.
DOROTHY Oh, I know.
BLANCHE goes over to the couch and sits down, trying to hold back tears.
BLANCHE Oh, I feel like such an old fool. Not just a fool, but an old fool. My God, I just wanna die.
ROSE You're not a fool, Blanche. (She sits down next to her and holds onto her.) You're a beautiful, loving, trusting woman. There's no fool here, Blanche.
BLANCHE I guess maybe I'm hoping the shock will be too much for my heart and I'll just drop dead right here. And the minister can bury me with Mr. Pinkus. I won't have to look anyone in the eye ever again.
ROSE Except maybe Mr. Pinkus.
DOROTHY sharply pinches ROSE'S shoulder.
TIME LAPSE: Three weeks later. SCENE: 6151 Richmond Street, the lanai. ROSE is sitting at the patio table reading, while SOPHIA is resting her eyes on one of the patio chairs. DOROTHY enters from the house, carrying a wet newspaper.
DOROTHY If I meet our paperboy, he will not live to be a paper man! (She lays the wet papers on the bushes in the sun.) Florida is having a drought. In the entire state, there is not enough water to make a cup of tea. He finds a puddle.
DOROTHY goes over to SOPHIA and takes a mirror out of her purse. She holds it up to SOPHIA'S mouth.
ROSE What are you doing? She's sleeping.
DOROTHY Just checking. You never know. Tell me, how is Blanche?
ROSE She didn't go to work again today. It's been three weeks and she just sits in her room. The museum's gonna fire her.
DOROTHY (Sits down in a chair next to Rose.) Well, we've tried everything, golf, the movies, theater tickets. She wouldn't even budge for Julio Iglesias.
ROSE I know grief. It takes time.
DOROTHY Please, Rose. Listen, if you're Irish, you have a wake. You eat, you cry, you drink, you vomit, and you're done. If you're Jewish, you cry, you sit, you eat for seven days, you put on ten pounds, and it's over. We Italians scream, dress up a donkey, hire a band, and that's that. It's these southern Protestants who make it a way of life.
SOPHIA When I go, put me in a steel sack and leave me on the curb next to the cans.
DOROTHY We thought you were asleep.
SOPHIA You never know.
BLANCHE enters from STAGE LEFT, smiling at the ladies.
BLANCHE You girls shouldn't sit out here in the sun.
ROSE and DOROTHY are relieved to see her again.
ROSE Blanche, we've been so worried about you.
BLANCHE I know.
ROSE I'm so glad you're up.
BLANCHE I'm sorry if I worried you.
DOROTHY Aw, sweetheart, how are you?
BLANCHE I'm okay. I really am. No. At first I wanted to give up, to die, truly. Only time I ever felt worse was when George died. But then I had the kids with me and I pulled through it. This time, I thought, "This is my last chance, my last hope for happiness." I just thought I'd never feel good again.
SOPHIA How long is this story? I'm 80. I have to plan.
BLANCHE This morning I woke up and I was in the shower, shampooing my hair, and I heard humming. I thought there was someone in there with me. No, it was me. I was humming. And humming means I'm feeling good. And then I realized I was feeling good because of you. You made the difference. You're my family, and you make me happy to be alive.
DOROTHY and ROSE smile at her, touched.
ROSE Let's drive to Coconut Grove for lunch.
BLANCHE Okay!
ROSE My treat. We have to celebrate.
SOPHIA What, that she came out of her room?
ROSE That we're together!
DOROTHY And that no matter what happens, even if we all get married, we'll stick together.
ROSE Then we'll need a much bigger house.
DOROTHY Sure, Rose. After lunch, you can pick up the lumber.
The ladies get up from the patio table.
DOROTHY Ma, you want to join us?
SOPHIA (gets up from her chair) Nope. I gotta rest. I got a date tonight.
DOROTHY Huh? With whom?
SOPHIA The fancy man and I are going to the dog track.
SOPHIA exits STAGE RIGHT through the gate.
BLANCHE Your mother bets?
DOROTHY No, she rides. She's a dog jockey. Let's go.
BLANCHE, ROSE, and DOROTHY exit STAGE RIGHT through the lanai gate. Roll credits.

We thought you were asleep.

- You never know.


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V - E - H List of The Golden Girls transcripts
Season 1 The EngagementGuess Who's Coming to the WeddingRose the PrudeTransplantThe TriangleOn Golden GirlsThe CompetitionBreak-InBlanche and the Younger ManThe Heart AttackThe Return of Dorothy's ExThe Custody BattleA Little RomanceThat Was No LadyIn a Bed of Rose'sThe Truth Will OutNice and EasyThe OperationSecond MotherhoodAdult EducationThe FluJob HuntingBlind AmbitionsBig DaddyThe Way We Met
Season 2 End of the CurseLadies of the EveningTake Him, He's MineIt's a MIserable LifeIsn't It RomanticBig Daddy's Little LadyFamily AffairVacationJoust Between FriendsLove, Rose'Twas the Nightmare Before ChristmasThe SistersThe Stan who Came to DinnerThe ActorBefore and AfterAnd Then There Was OneBedtime StoryForgive Me FatherLong Day's Journey into MarinaraWhose Face is This, Anyway?Dorothy's Prized PupilDiamond in the RoughSon-in-Law DearestTo Catch a NeighborA Piece of CakeEmpty Nests
Season 3 Old FriendsOne for the MoneyBringing Up BabyThe HousekeeperNothing to Fear But Fear ItselfLetters to GorbachevStrange BedfellowsBrotherly LoveA Visit from Little SvenThe AuditThree on a CouchCharlie's BuddyThe ArtistBlanche's Little GirlDorothy's New FriendGrab That DoughMy Brother, My FatherGolden Moments, Part IGolden Moments, Part 2And Ma Makes ThreeLarceny and Old LaceRose's Big AdventureMixed BlessingsMister TerrificMother's Day
Season 4 Yes, We Have No HavanasThe Days and Nights of Sophia PetrilloThe One That Got AwayYokel YHeroBang the Drum, StanleySophia's Wedding, Part 1Sophia's Wedding, Part 2Brother, Can You Spare That JacketScared StraightStan Takes A WifeThe AuctionBlind DateThe Impotence of Being ErnestLove Me TenderValentine's DayTwo Rode TogetherYou Gotta Have HopeFiddler on the RopesTill Death Do We VolleyHigh AnxietyLittle SisterSophia's ChoiceRites of SpringForeign ExchangeWe're Outta Here, Part 1We're Outta Here, Part 1
Season 5 Sick and Tired, Part 1Sick and Tired, Part 2 The Accurate ConceptionRose Fights BackLove Under the Big TopDancing in the DarkNot Another MondayThat Old FeelingComedy of ErrorsAll That JazzEbb TideHave Yourself A Very Little ChristmasBlind DateMary Has A Little LambTriple PlayCLinton Avenue MemoirsLike the Beep Beep Beep of the Tom-TomAn Illegitimate Concer72 HOursTwice In A LifetimeSisters and Other StrangersCheatersThe Mangiacavallo Curse Makes a Lousy Wedding PresentAll Bets Are OffThe President's Coming! The President's Coming!, Part 1The President's Coming! The President's Coming!, Part 2
Season 6 Blanche DeliversOnce, In St. OlafIf At Last You Do SucceedSnap Out Of ItWham, Bam, Thank You MammyFeelingsZborn AgainHow Do You Solve a Problem Like Sophia?Mrs. George DevereauxGirls Just Wanna Have Fun... Before They DieStand By Your ManEbbtide's RevengeThe Bloom Is Off the RoseSisters of the BrideMiles to GoThere Goes the Bride, Part 1There Goes the Bride, Part 2Older and WiserMelodramaEven Grandmas Get the BluesWitnessWhat A Difference A Date MakesLove for SaleNever Yell Fire in a Crowded Retirement Home, Part 1Never Yell Fire in a Crowded Retirement Home, Part 2Henny Penny — Straight, No Chaser
Season 7 Hey, Look Me OverThe Case of the Libertine BelleBeauty and the BeastThat's For Me to KnowWhere's Charlie?Mother LoadDateline: MiamiThe Monkey Show, Part 1The Monkey Show: Part 2Ro$e Love$ Mile$Room SevenFrom Here to the PharmacyThe Pope's RingOld BoyfriendsGoodbye, Mr. GordonThe CommitmentsQuestions and AnswersEbbtide VI: The Wrath of StanJourney to the Center of AttentionA Midwinter Night's Dream, Part 1A Midwinter Night's Dream, Part 2Rose: Portrait of a WomanHome Again, Rose, Part 1Home Again, Rose, Part 2One Flew Out of the Cuckoo's Nest, Part 1One Flew Out of the Cuckoo's Nest, Part 2
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