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So those are the facts, ladies. It's not a pretty picture. One out of every three people will be the victim of a violent crime. ... And since there are four of you, that means at least one of you will be a victim...of a violent crime. One of you right here.
— The Security Salesman trying to scare the ladies; "Break-In" (1985)


The Security Salesman is a one-off character in the 1985 NBC sitcom The Golden Girls. He is a sleazy security system salesman who tries to scare the ladies into buying an extremely-expensive security system.

The Security Salesman only appears in the Season 1 episode "Break-In". He is portrayed by Christian Clemenson.

Personality and Traits[]

The Security Salesman is rather slimy, intentionally trying to terrify the ladies into buying the most expensive security system possible.

Biography[]

Break-In[]

After the ladies' house is broken into, they look into buying a security system so they can feel safer. The Security Salesman comes over to sell them one, but refuses to tell them the prices and instead tries to scare them into buying the most expensive system he has. When the ladies try to buy the basic system, he tells them that their neighbors will ignore the alarms and tries to get them to buy a more expensive system for "pennies more". Dorothy asks how much the second system is, and he tries to avoid telling her how much it is. He eventually caves and reveals the second system is $10,000, and Dorothy declares that they will buy the basic system -- but from The Security Salesman's competitor, because The Security Salesman is trying to scare them into spending more money than they have. She then throws him out of the house.[1]

Career[]

The Security Salesman works at an unnamed security system company.

Appearances[]

The Golden Girls (1985 -1992)[]


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One-Off Characters in The Golden Girls
Season 1 Al BeattyAlma LindstromArnie PetersonAugustine BagatelliBonnieCharley AdamsChrissy ZbornakCocoDannyDaveDavid BlackmoreDean TuckerDirkDr. HarrisDr. RevellDr. RichmondEd CollinsElliot ClaytonGladys BartonHaroldHarryJonathan NewmanLeonard BartonLesterLily LindstromLouLucille BeattyLucy WarrenMadame ZeldaMiltonMr. PeepersProfessor CooperRaoulRichardSecurity SalesmanTommy Cochrane
Season 2 AlbertApalapachobie StationmasterBob HendersonBobBobby HopkinsBobby SpinaBridget NylundBurt NesbittBurt ReynoldsCarlChuckDr. BarnsfieldDr. EscobarDr. ParksDr. TaylorDr. WallersteinEd KletnerEdEmily’s FatherEmilyFather CallahanFrank LeahyFrieda ClaxtonGeorge CorlissIsaac NewtonJacques de CourvilleJake SmollensJeanJenny CorlissJohnLisaLizMargaret SpencerMario SanchezMartha McDowellMegMr. AllenMr. Ha HaMr. HinkleyMr. MeyerMr. PfeifferMr. ThompsonMr. ThurberNorman HendersonOliverPatrick VaughnPhyllis HammerowRamoneRenee CorlissRickRobRoccoSam BurnsSanta ClausStephanieStephen DeutschThomas McCoyTimmy • Tony (Forgive Me, FatherLong Day’s Journey into Marinara) • Toshiro MitsumoVinnieWalterWayneWilfred CheswickWinston Hardwick III
Season 3 AlAlexei BovanovAlvin NewcastleAnna EgermanBabyBarbara ThorndykeBlack CrowBuddy RourkeCandyCarlChester T. RaineyDaisyDaveDr. AshleyDuncanEdna McCrackenEdwin NewmanEleanorElizabeth HollingsworthErnieFloyd McCallumFreddyGil KesslerGretaGuy CorbinHastingsJacobJeremyJerryJodyKolakLaszlo GlagorianLibby • Linda (Letters to GorbachevA Visit from Little Sven) • Lorraine WagnerMargueriteMartyMcCrackenMidgeMister TerrificMr. EscobarMr. MurrayMurray GuttmanNancyNancyOlga NordstrumPriscillaRaymondRoccoRussellSandra NewcastleSven LindstromTheodore ZbornakTrudyVictorVincenzoWillardYolanda Zbornak
Season 4 AbeBenBillyBob HopeCharleyClaireDan CummingDominic BoscoDon Angelo Grisanti, Sr.Dr. CauleyDr. JerryDr. StewartDr. WatkinsEddieEdgarEduardoElaineErnestErnieEsther WeinstockEstherFather CampbellFidel SantiagoFredFriedaGary TuckerGina BoscoGonzalesHam LushboughHeatherHolly LindstromIdaJack McCannJackieJasper DeKimmelJim ShuJohn QuinnJulio IglesiasKatherine O’ConnerKenny • Lillian (Sophia’s ChoiceDancing in the Dark) • LoisMajor BarkerMarlaMax WeinstockMildredMishaMr. YakomoraMrs. LeonardPepePhilomena BoscoPhylissPorterRaymondSamSid LaBassStan WojnoSteveSy FerberThe Donatello TripletsTimmy • Toppelkopper Triplets (BenLenSven) • Trudy McCannWandaYvonne
Season 5 Agent BellBuzz MuellerCarolineCharmaine HollingsworthDavid Patton • Doug (The Mangiacavallo Curse Makes a Lousy Wedding PresentAll Bets Are Off) • Dr. ManningDr. StevensDr. StrienEliseFather AveryFrancis LillestrandFredGayleGloria SchmidtGuiseppe MangiacavalloHarvHelen BuddHowardJamesJamie DevereauxJennyJimmyJoeyKen WhittinghamLewis BuddMaddyMagda YitchinsonMalcolmMariaMartha LamontMary-EllenMaryMerrilMichael ChangMr. HernandezMr. KaneMr. LillestrandMr. MorelliMrs. LillestrandOliverPaulPeterRogerSimonStevenTerry FrancoThomas
Season 6 Abby WolfAndyAngela PetrilloArthur NivingstonBillBrother MartinCoach OdlivakDetective ParresDon the FoolDoug HollingsworthDr. BobDr. TessDr. WarrenErrolFather MonroeFather O’MaraFather SalernoFrank NannGladysHerbIrvingJackJason StillmanJimmyJohn NorettiKevin KellyLou NorganLouiseLucilleLyle WaggonerMarvin MitchelsonMel BushmanMickey MoranMother SuperiorMr. LewisMr. NinerviniMr. PercyMr. PorterMrs. ContiniMrs. TaylorMrs. WardMyraRex HuntingtonSarahSister AnneSister ClaireSmokeySonny BonoSusan DoddTamaraTed TannerTerryTony DelVecchioTrubyViola Watkins
Season 7 to be added.

References[]

  1. The Golden Girls, Season 1, Episode 8, "Break-In". Berg, James and Zimmerman, Stan (writers) & Drake, Jim (director) (November 16th, 1985)
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