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"It's like we say in St. Olaf, Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund's Day without the headless boy." This article is incomplete. You can help the Golden Girls Wiki by expanding it. |
| This is a transcribed copy of Forgive Me, Father. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode. | |
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This transcription is unfinished and still being edited.
Transcription[]
[Scene 1][]
[Zooming into the house, we see that Sophia is going through a box of stuff]
- [Rose walks in from the back door]
- Rose: [Slams hand on table] You will not believe what happened to to me! I'm driving home down Barnsdale Avenue, listening to my yodeling tapes, when the driver behind me starts furiously honking his horn. I decide to be a lady and let him pass. And what does he do? Pulls alongside, shouts obscenities that'd make Joan Rivers blush and then speeds off down the street.
- Sophia: Who cares Rose, I got my own problems.
- Rose: Your own problems?
- Sophia: I can't find my lucky handkerchief.
- Rose: Lucky handkerchief?
- Sophia: What the hell are you, a myna bird? I'm trying to getting my kit together for a major bingo game and it's not here. There's no way I can play without it. It's like Kareem without his goggles.
- Rose: I'm sorry, Sophia, I'm just so upset.
- Sophia: You know you would feel a lot better if you had shouted back at that bachagaloupe.
- Rose: Oh, I couldn't do that. I get so flustered in those situations.
- Sophia: Hey a well-chosen gesture can be very effective. A little something like this. [Sophia makes gestures]
- Rose: Sophia, isn't that obscene?
- Sophia: No they mean, "good health," "have a nice day" and "would you like to squeeze my concertina?"
- [Blanche and Dorothy enter from the living room]
- Blanche: Dorothy I don't understand You spent the whole afternoon together and he still didn't ask you out? What did you do wrong?
- Rose: Who didn't ask you out Dorothy?
- Sophia: You got a phone book?
- Dorothy: Frank Leahy, you know the teacher I've been working with on the youth fair.
- Blanche: She's known him for two weeks and he hasn't asked her out yet.
- Dorothy: Look I don't "know him" know him. We have spent exactly two Saturday mornings building display booths and painting signs. We're hardly close.
- Blanche: Maybe you could be, if you'd ask him out. He's obviously too shy to ask you.
- Rose: Maybe he just doesn't like her.
- Dorothy: Thank you, rose. Incidentally, you look fat.
- Blanche: Well I say the time for subtlety has passed. If you want this man go after him, ask him out!
- Dorothy: Oh I don't know. I feel so awkward asking a man out on a date.
- Rose: Well you could always invite him here to dinner, that wouldn't seem as pushy.
- Blanche: Oh that's a great idea Rose, then we can all check him out.
- Dorothy: I don't think I can do it.
- Blanche: Oh Dorothy of course you can. Look here now you be Frank, I'll be you okay? Why, frank, you know I've been thinking, this is the third Saturday of our relationship and I don't even know what you like to eat. Come over for dinner this Saturday night and let me find out what... whets your appetite.
- Dorothy: And what are you serving for dessert, Blanche, penicillin? I'll do it my own way.
- Sophia: If you do, you'd better use Jane Fonda's body, otherwise, it'll be just the four of us for dinner.
- [Dorothy leaves, and the scene fades out]
[Scene 2][]
[The school is established, and into the gymnasium we see Frank and Dorothy working on the youth fair]
- [Dorothy is pacing, building nerve to talk to Frank]
- Dorothy: Frank...
- Frank: What
- Dorothy: Frank, uh...I'm sorry. I was just going to say that the sign seemed a little high on one side. How about a coffee break?
- Frank: Sure. Hey Tony when one of you guys gets the chance, would you fix that sign? It seems a little high on one side.
- Student: Yeah, sure, frank.
- Dorothy: I notice a lot of your students call you "frank."
- Frank: You don't approve?
- Dorothy: No on the contrary. I think anything other than "yo, teach!" Is an educational breakthrough.
- Frank: You don't approve? I just think that formal titles can be very intimidating. This way, I'm just one of the guys.
- Dorothy: You think a lot of these kids don't you?
- Frank: Oh hey so do you.
- Dorothy: Well, I do, but... I sense a special dedication from you. It's nice.
- Frank: Well thanks, Dorothy. You know I've been at this a long time. I watch these kids grow, I know their families, been to their homes for dinner.
- Dorothy: Really? You've been to their homes for dinner?
- Frank: Well, of course they spread a newspaper on the floor for me.
- Dorothy: [sarcastically] Frank.
- Frank: Come on I'm kidding. You seem so amazed.
- Dorothy: No I'm not amazed. I just mean I think it's nice that you do that.
- Frank: Funny I just assumed that you knew that I ate dinner.
- Dorothy: I meant I think it's nice that you go to people's homes for dinner. How would you like to go home with me? I mean, for dinner. You know maybe next week. My roommates would love to meet you.
- Frank: Sure what's a good night?
- Dorothy: Uh, bingo night. Any other time I'd have to introduce you to my mother.
- [The scene fades]
[Scene 3][]
[It's evening, and the girls are preparing for their dinner with Frank]
- [Rose and Sophia come back from the lanai]
- Rose: I don't understand but the table looked fine, right where we always keep it.
- Blanche: Honey the table looked fine but with her complexion, those yellow garden lights make Dorothy look like Eric Severeid.
- [Sophia walks into the living room from the hall]
- Sophia: Look out, St. Dominic's! Sophia feels lucky tonight.
- Rose: Oh right, tonight's the big bingo game, isn't it?
- Sophia: The biggest. I got my lucky handkerchief. I can't lose.
- Rose: Where did you find it?
- Sophia: In my bra.
- Rose: In your bra? What was your lucky handkerchief doing in there?
- Sophia: I was blowing my breasts, rose. I stuffed it in to give me cleavage, to turn on the butcher so I could get a decent piece of veal. And now, if you'll excuse me, there's an electric weed whacker at St. Dominic's with my name on it.
- [Sophia leaves for the Bingo game]
- Blanche: Now Rose listen, when we go out there for dinner, you be sure to sit on the far side of the table and I'll sit next to you.
- Rose: Why?
- Blanche: Just in case somebody wants to play a little footsie.
- Rose: Gee, that sounds like fun. I haven't played footsie in years. Charlie never...
- Blanche: Rose! Frank and Dorothy might play footsie.
- Rose: Oh... Oh!
- [Dorothy walks in from the hall]
- Dorothy: How do I look?
- Rose: Beautiful.
- Blanche: Go back and change. Oh honey that outfit might be alright for a gay funeral in New Orleans, but it's too... much too subtle for this evening. Dorothy put on something flashy, something colorful
- Dorothy: That's really not me, blanche.
- Blanche: I know, honey, but take a chance. Be a woman!
- Dorothy: It's an awful lot to ask, but I'll try.
- Blanche: Good go on. Alright Rose, come on. Let's go see about supper, come on.
- Rose: Blanche don't you think you might be pushing Dorothy a little hard?
- Blanche: No, and I need all your help. And she needs your help, too. You know she's not gonna have too many chances. She doesn't have my beauty or your... we'll help you next week. The point is she practically glows every time she speaks his name.
- Rose: Do you think Dorothy's in love?
- Blanche: Well, she's very definitely smitten. And with a little help from us, she can fire cupid's arrow into the tooshie of love.
- Rose: The "tooshie of love"? For some strange reason, I find that provocative.
- Blanche: You really ought to date more, Rose.
- [Doorbell]
- Blanche: That must be him. All right honey why don't you heat up the rolls and cool yourself down!
- [Blanche opens the door]
- Frank [in cleric's collar]: Good evening.
- Blanche: Oh. Good evening, father. My my this must be an important cause. Don't you usually make the nuns ask for money? [laughs] I'll get my purse.
- Frank: I-I'm frank. I'm here to see Dorothy.
- Blanche: You're the hunk? I mean... forgive me, father. Uh, that is, forgive my language, not in your official capacity. I'm not even a catholic. I'm a Baptist and you can't forgive us Baptists. Sweet Jesus, why am I babbling? I meant that in all due reverence. I never take the lord's name in vain. Oh, god! Now I'm lying to a priest. Why don't you come on in and sit down. I'm Blanche, I'm Dorothy's roommate. Would you get the door?
- Frank: Dorothy's told me a great deal about you.
- Blanche: Well, she seems to have left out one itty-bitty detail about you.
- Frank: That I'm a priest?
- Blanche: Uh-huh.
- Frank: She didn't know.
- Blanche: What'd she think? You were just a boring dresser?
- Frank: She's just never seen me in cleric's clothing.
- Blanche: I didn't know you priests could take your clothes off.
- Frank: Well, we do a lot of things real people do.
- Blanche: Except for one very important thing. Boy, is that gonna put a hitch in Dorothy's plans.
- [Rose enters from the kitchen]
- Rose: Hello. I'm Rose Nylund. You must be Frank. It's a pleasure to finally meet you.
- Frank: Thank you Rose. Very nice to meet you too.
- Rose: Dorothy's done nothing but talk about you for weeks.
- Blanche: Rose...
- Rose: Every time she mentions your name, she practically glows.
- Blanche: Rose...
- Rose: I think she's really very smitten...
- Blanche: Rose!
- Rose: He's a priest, isn't he?
- Blanche: Yes, rose.
- Rose: I'm so sorry hell town was canceled.
- [Dorothy comes from the hall dressed in a snazzy outfit]
- Dorothy: Frank. Frank I'm sorry I... please tell me that's a Nehru jacket.
- Frank: No, it's not.
- Blanche: Rose, let's go heat up the lasagna. Come on!
- Dorothy: Why didn't you tell me it was "father" Leahy?
- Frank: I assumed you knew.
- Dorothy: No, I didn't. I mean, frankly, I'm... I'm a little embarrassed.
- Frank: Me, too. What difference does it make? We can still be friends, can't we?
- Dorothy: Of course we can. I'm glad you're here.
- Frank: Yeah, well so am I. You look lovely tonight.
- Dorothy: I look like the mother of a solid gold dancer.
- Frank: Dorothy, I'm sorry about this misunderstanding.
- Dorothy: I know. I know. It's... alright.
- [Blanche and Rose come in with food]
- Rose: Ok, everybody, we're ready to serve the appetizers.
- Dorothy: Uh come on, Frank. We're eating out on the lanai.
- Rose: Now, exactly where am I supposed to sit again?
- Blanche: Oh anywhere you damn well please. What the hell difference does it make now? Go!
- [The scene fades out]
Oh, so first you were a teacher and then you became a priest.
First, I went to medical school for a year.
Then I quit and became an assistant basketball coach, then a teacher, then came the priesthood.
What do you think you'll do next?
Anybody care for more coffee?
I have another pot brewing.
Let me give you a hand.
Excuse me.
You know, black is your color.
Did that influence your decision to enter the priesthood?
It wasn't the evening I'd planned, but it's turned out to be pleasant enough.
Frank is a very special person, isn't he?
Yes, he is and he obviously thinks the same about you.
Of course he does.
We're friends.
Dorothy, I hesitate to say this, but...
Something in frank's eyes says he thinks of you as more than just a friend.
Blanche, the man is a priest!
The man's a man.
I'm not listening to this.
I was in a similar situation once.
He was a man of the cloth.
Totally dedicated to his vocation or so he said, but his eyes told me he was dedicated to me.
We both knew it was wrong and we fought our feelings with every bone in our hot, longing, writhing bodies.
It was just too much for us and we checked into a best western.
You had an affair with a priest?
I said, "a man of the cloth." He was a fabric salesman.
We never made love again, but he did cover my la-z-boy for free.
Wonderful, blanche!
Something in his eyes says he wants you, in the biblical sense.
I will not listen to this.
The coffee's ready.
Ma, the bingo game's over already?
It wasn't a game.
It was a travesty.
They call four lousy numbers and, boom - gloria's a winner.
Six more numbers, kessler's jumping up and down, shouting, "I'm rich!" Of course she also does this on the boardwalk to attract men.
I think the whole thing was fixed.
That's why I'm gonna ask hugh downs to investigate.
I guess they sent you over to shut me up.
Ma, this is father leahy.
He had dinner with us tonight.
Oh.
Pleased to meet you.
What happened to your date?
Father leahy is her date.
Come here.
Dorothy, sometimes a mother gets a little busy and forgets to tell her daughter everything she needs to know.
So I'm telling you now.
Don't date a priest.
It's bad luck.
- Ma...
- Trust me on this one.
What happened to me at bingo tonight was no accident.
I didn't realize how late it was.
I should be going.
Thank you, all.
I had a wonderful time.
I'll see you on saturday at the youth fair.
Dinner before then?
Something I want to talk about.
Sure.
What is it?
Thanks to you, I'm on the verge of making an important decision.
I'm thinking of leaving the church.
Good night.
I thought I heard you up.
I couldn't sleep.
I had a horrible nightmare.
Tell it to me.
I'm awful good at interpreting dreams.
I was a contestant on the dating game and I won.
I went to meet the bachelor who picked me and it was the pope.
That is a tough one.
Where did you go on the date?
Oh!
Forget it, forget it.
Good night, blanche.
What are you doing?
I thought you were asleep.
Provisions.
I figured we'd be up all night talking.
- I'm going.
- She don't feel like talking.
But I got chocolate macadamia-nut cheesecake and rum-raisin ice cream.
Oh, alright.
Start cutting.
You scoop.
Aw, that's my girl.
Did you decide what you're gonna do?
No.
Oh, my luck!
The first really wonderful guy I've met in a long time and he turns out to have a more serious involvement.
- With whom?
- Pam dawber!
The church.
Or he did until he met me.
Take the religious aspect out of this and it's romantic.
Giving up everything for the woman he loves, like the duke of windsor.
Or the story of rose and charlie nylund.
When I think of one, I automatically think of the other.
When charlie and I started dating, I felt his folks didn't like me.
That's when I decided to get to the bottom of things and the ancient feud between the nylunds and the gorkleknabygens.
That was my mother's maiden name.
Gorkleknabygen?
Originally, it was gorkleknabygen-hoffstadlerfeil.
But they shortened it.
Most of my mother's family were in show business.
Anyway, when charlie told them we were gonna get married, they forbade it.
They said they'd disown him if he married...
- [Both]
a gorkleknabygen.
- [Rose]
right.
He'd lose his share of the family tile grout fortune.
He didn't care.
He told them he loved me more than grout.
Must have been a tough choice for old charlie.
I thought I heard voices.
Only two of them are god-fearing.
Ma, get off my back.
I feel bad enough.
What about me?
81 Years, I've eaten fish on a friday, even when the pope said I didn't have to.
I go to mass, I light candles, and for what?
To be flushed down the toilet, because my daughter goes out with father happy pants.
Ma, you're not making it any easier.
Look, dorothy, in the end, only you can decide what's right for you.
Whatever decision it is, I'll stand by you.
- Thanks, ma.
- Just remember, make the wrong decision, you'll burn in hell forever.
Sleep tight, pussycat.
[Clears throat]
[man coughs]
I'm not here to confess, I did that a day ago.
At my age, how much can I sin?
I had an impure thought?
I'd k*ll to have an impure thought.
That would be two sins.
But now I'm telling you your business.
Let me get to the real point.
It's about you and my daughter.
I know everything and, frankly, I'm not thrilled.
If you wanna leave the priesthood, that's between you and the vatican, but you should know about dorothy, before you get carried away.
So, frank, have you made your decision?
I can serve the church better as a teaching priest at st helen's, instead of a parish priest here.
Well, we're gonna miss you around here.
Look, I know priests are men and they have urges.
What is it, lust?
It'll pass.
I do without.
You get used to it.
Get cable tv.
- Lots of luck.
- Thanks.
- Frank.
- Dorothy?
- What are you doing here?
- Free time between classes.
So you drove 18 miles across town?
Ok.
I wanted to talk to you.
I didn't want to wait.
The thought that I might be responsible for the decision you're making is too much.
This is crazy.
It's not like you pushed me towards this decision.
You didn't know I was thinking about it.
Blanche did.
She saw it in your eyes.
- My eyes?
- You're a very special person.
I knew the moment I met you and you felt the same about me.
I can't tell you how flattering that is.
I mean, at this stage of a woman's life, to have someone instantly feel that spark for her is a dream come true.
Maybe in the dream he wouldn't be a priest, but that doesn't make it any the less flattering, but it does make it a lot more complicated.
So, frank, you cannot go through with this.
- Dorothy...
- No, no, no.
It's a mistake that we would both regret for the rest of our lives.
No matter how strongly you feel, I cannot let you leave the priesthood for me.
What?
I understand how hurt you must feel.
[Chuckles]
alright, maybe I don't understand exactly.
I'm sorry, dorothy, but our relationship seems to be - one misunderstanding after another.
- Misunderstanding?
I'm not leaving the priesthood.
I'm leaving the church, this church.
But...
Well...
If you're not leaving the priesthood, then I just made a complete a*s of myself.
Excuse my language, father, but, as an english teacher, I can tell you that's the most appropriate description.
- No, it's not.
- How can you say that?
I created an entire relationship in my imagination.
It wasn't in your imagination.
There is something special between us.
We appreciate each other.
You could help me see where I could do most good, as a teaching priest.
Well, it's taken me a little while, but I think I've got it.
Alright.
Listen, your silence is deafening.
I didn't wanna whip this one out, but I have no choice.
She's been divorced.
You know the rulebook.
We're talking eternity here.
Are we still on for dinner thursday night?
Yes.
Just so there won't be another misunderstanding, who is buying?
- How about a dutch treat?
- Great.
See you thursday.
Dorothy, thanks.
Ah.
It's like he didn't hear a word I said!
[]
| V - E - H List of The Golden Girls transcripts | |
|---|---|
| Season 1 | The Engagement • Guess Who's Coming to the Wedding • Rose the Prude • Transplant • The Triangle • On Golden Girls • The Competition • Break-In • Blanche and the Younger Man • The Heart Attack • The Return of Dorothy's Ex • The Custody Battle • A Little Romance • That Was No Lady • In a Bed of Rose's • The Truth Will Out • Nice and Easy • The Operation • Second Motherhood • Adult Education • The Flu • Job Hunting • Blind Ambitions • Big Daddy • The Way We Met |
| Season 2 | End of the Curse • Ladies of the Evening • Take Him, He's Mine • It's a MIserable Life • Isn't It Romantic • Big Daddy's Little Lady • Family Affair • Vacation • Joust Between Friends • Love, Rose • 'Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas • The Sisters • The Stan who Came to Dinner • The Actor • Before and After • And Then There Was One • Bedtime Story • Forgive Me Father • Long Day's Journey into Marinara • Whose Face is This, Anyway? • Dorothy's Prized Pupil • Diamond in the Rough • Son-in-Law Dearest • To Catch a Neighbor • A Piece of Cake • Empty Nests |
| Season 3 | Old Friends • One for the Money • Bringing Up Baby • The Housekeeper • Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself • Letters to Gorbachev • Strange Bedfellows • Brotherly Love • A Visit from Little Sven • The Audit • Three on a Couch • Charlie's Buddy • The Artist • Blanche's Little Girl • Dorothy's New Friend • Grab That Dough • My Brother, My Father • Golden Moments, Part I • Golden Moments, Part 2 • And Ma Makes Three • Larceny and Old Lace • Rose's Big Adventure • Mixed Blessings • Mister Terrific • Mother's Day |
| Season 4 | Yes, We Have No Havanas • The Days and Nights of Sophia Petrillo • The One That Got Away • Yokel YHero • Bang the Drum, Stanley • Sophia's Wedding, Part 1 • Sophia's Wedding, Part 2 • Brother, Can You Spare That Jacket • Scared Straight • Stan Takes A Wife • The Auction • Blind Date • The Impotence of Being Ernest • Love Me Tender • Valentine's Day • Two Rode Together • You Gotta Have Hope • Fiddler on the Ropes • Till Death Do We Volley • High Anxiety • Little Sister • Sophia's Choice • Rites of Spring • Foreign Exchange • We're Outta Here, Part 1 • We're Outta Here, Part 1 |
| Season 5 | Sick and Tired, Part 1 • Sick and Tired, Part 2 The Accurate Conception • Rose Fights Back • Love Under the Big Top • Dancing in the Dark • Not Another Monday • That Old Feeling • Comedy of Errors • All That Jazz • Ebb Tide • Have Yourself A Very Little Christmas • Blind Date • Mary Has A Little Lamb • Triple Play • CLinton Avenue Memoirs • Like the Beep Beep Beep of the Tom-Tom • An Illegitimate Concer • 72 HOurs • Twice In A Lifetime • Sisters and Other Strangers • Cheaters • The Mangiacavallo Curse Makes a Lousy Wedding Present • All Bets Are Off • The President's Coming! The President's Coming!, Part 1 • The President's Coming! The President's Coming!, Part 2 |
| Season 6 | Blanche Delivers • Once, In St. Olaf • If At Last You Do Succeed • Snap Out Of It • Wham, Bam, Thank You Mammy • Feelings • Zborn Again • How Do You Solve a Problem Like Sophia? • Mrs. George Devereaux • Girls Just Wanna Have Fun... Before They Die • Stand By Your Man • Ebbtide's Revenge • The Bloom Is Off the Rose • Sisters of the Bride • Miles to Go • There Goes the Bride, Part 1 • There Goes the Bride, Part 2 • Older and Wiser • Melodrama • Even Grandmas Get the Blues • Witness • What A Difference A Date Makes • Love for Sale • Never Yell Fire in a Crowded Retirement Home, Part 1 • Never Yell Fire in a Crowded Retirement Home, Part 2 • Henny Penny — Straight, No Chaser |
| Season 7 | Hey, Look Me Over • The Case of the Libertine Belle • Beauty and the Beast • That's For Me to Know • Where's Charlie? • Mother Load • Dateline: Miami • The Monkey Show, Part 1 • The Monkey Show: Part 2 • Ro$e Love$ Mile$ • Room Seven • From Here to the Pharmacy • The Pope's Ring • Old Boyfriends • Goodbye, Mr. Gordon • The Commitments • Questions and Answers • Ebbtide VI: The Wrath of Stan • Journey to the Center of Attention • A Midwinter Night's Dream, Part 1 • A Midwinter Night's Dream, Part 2 • Rose: Portrait of a Woman • Home Again, Rose, Part 1 • Home Again, Rose, Part 2 • One Flew Out of the Cuckoo's Nest, Part 1 • One Flew Out of the Cuckoo's Nest, Part 2 |