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"It's like we say in St. Olaf, Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund's Day without the headless boy." This article is incomplete. You can help the Golden Girls Wiki by expanding it. |
| This is a transcribed copy of 'Twas The Nightmare Before Christmas. Feel free to edit or add to this page, as long as the information comes directly from the episode. | |
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| Previous: Love, Rose | Next: The Sisters |
Act 1[]
| ACT 1 | |
|---|---|
| Speaker | Dialogue |
| TBA | To be added. |
- Dorothy: [looking through The Men of Blanche's Boudoir calendar] WHOA!
- Blanche: September?
- Dorothy: Yep...
- Sophia: I'm surprised you were able to walk in October.
Act 2[]
| ACT 2 | |
|---|---|
| Speaker | Dialogue |
| TBA | To be added. |
Rose: We're gonna miss our plane. What can we do?
Blanche: Listen, girls, I have an idea. Now, I'm going to create a diversion by bending over and picking up something seductively, then the two of you sneak up behind him and give him a karate chop.
Dorothy: Blanche, what do we look like? Charlie's Angels?
Blanche: I have been told I bear a striking resemblance to Miss Cheryl Ladd. Although, my bosoms are perkier.
Dorothy: Not even if you were hanging upside down on a trapeze.
- Airport Mendicant: Excuse me. Would you like to buy a flower?
- Sophia: Beat it, chrome-dome! And while you're at it, get a job! Get a suit! And get on your knees and beg your mother's forgiveness!
- Blanche: Did I ever tell you, girls? I met my husband George on Christmas Eve?
- Blanche: Let me tell you just how exciting a Christmas Eve can be. I was home from college on Christmas vacation, when my best friend, Lisa Jane Biedler, fixed me up with the most beautiful boy I've ever laid my eyes on.
- Dorothy: George.
- Blanche: No, this was Richard Jay Wilde. And believe me, his name said it all! Huh-huh-huh! We must've pulled over on the side of the road five times on our way to that Christmas dance. Ha-hah!
- Rose: It's always best to drive defensively over the holidays.
- Blanche: Anyway, when we finally got to the dance, why, Richard dropped me off; and I turned and ran smack into a man so gorgeous he made Richard Jay Wilde look like a pre-pubescent choirboy.
- Rose: George.
- Blanche: : No-no, no. Ernie Willis. Well, Ernie smiled. And the next thing I knew, we were dancing in a local bar. When all of a sudden I heard a deep voice say, "Hm-hm... May I cut in?" Well when I turned, I saw the man I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life with.
- Albert: George.
- Blanche: Uh, no. No. Thomas Pennville. Uh-huh. Well, after Thomas and I left...
- Dorothy: Blanche! I could get herpes listening to this story!
[]
| V - E - H List of The Golden Girls transcripts | |
|---|---|
| Season 1 | The Engagement • Guess Who's Coming to the Wedding • Rose the Prude • Transplant • The Triangle • On Golden Girls • The Competition • Break-In • Blanche and the Younger Man • The Heart Attack • The Return of Dorothy's Ex • The Custody Battle • A Little Romance • That Was No Lady • In a Bed of Rose's • The Truth Will Out • Nice and Easy • The Operation • Second Motherhood • Adult Education • The Flu • Job Hunting • Blind Ambitions • Big Daddy • The Way We Met |
| Season 2 | End of the Curse • Ladies of the Evening • Take Him, He's Mine • It's a MIserable Life • Isn't It Romantic • Big Daddy's Little Lady • Family Affair • Vacation • Joust Between Friends • Love, Rose • 'Twas the Nightmare Before Christmas • The Sisters • The Stan who Came to Dinner • The Actor • Before and After • And Then There Was One • Bedtime Story • Forgive Me Father • Long Day's Journey into Marinara • Whose Face is This, Anyway? • Dorothy's Prized Pupil • Diamond in the Rough • Son-in-Law Dearest • To Catch a Neighbor • A Piece of Cake • Empty Nests |
| Season 3 | Old Friends • One for the Money • Bringing Up Baby • The Housekeeper • Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself • Letters to Gorbachev • Strange Bedfellows • Brotherly Love • A Visit from Little Sven • The Audit • Three on a Couch • Charlie's Buddy • The Artist • Blanche's Little Girl • Dorothy's New Friend • Grab That Dough • My Brother, My Father • Golden Moments, Part I • Golden Moments, Part 2 • And Ma Makes Three • Larceny and Old Lace • Rose's Big Adventure • Mixed Blessings • Mister Terrific • Mother's Day |
| Season 4 | Yes, We Have No Havanas • The Days and Nights of Sophia Petrillo • The One That Got Away • Yokel YHero • Bang the Drum, Stanley • Sophia's Wedding, Part 1 • Sophia's Wedding, Part 2 • Brother, Can You Spare That Jacket • Scared Straight • Stan Takes A Wife • The Auction • Blind Date • The Impotence of Being Ernest • Love Me Tender • Valentine's Day • Two Rode Together • You Gotta Have Hope • Fiddler on the Ropes • Till Death Do We Volley • High Anxiety • Little Sister • Sophia's Choice • Rites of Spring • Foreign Exchange • We're Outta Here, Part 1 • We're Outta Here, Part 1 |
| Season 5 | Sick and Tired, Part 1 • Sick and Tired, Part 2 The Accurate Conception • Rose Fights Back • Love Under the Big Top • Dancing in the Dark • Not Another Monday • That Old Feeling • Comedy of Errors • All That Jazz • Ebb Tide • Have Yourself A Very Little Christmas • Blind Date • Mary Has A Little Lamb • Triple Play • CLinton Avenue Memoirs • Like the Beep Beep Beep of the Tom-Tom • An Illegitimate Concer • 72 HOurs • Twice In A Lifetime • Sisters and Other Strangers • Cheaters • The Mangiacavallo Curse Makes a Lousy Wedding Present • All Bets Are Off • The President's Coming! The President's Coming!, Part 1 • The President's Coming! The President's Coming!, Part 2 |
| Season 6 | Blanche Delivers • Once, In St. Olaf • If At Last You Do Succeed • Snap Out Of It • Wham, Bam, Thank You Mammy • Feelings • Zborn Again • How Do You Solve a Problem Like Sophia? • Mrs. George Devereaux • Girls Just Wanna Have Fun... Before They Die • Stand By Your Man • Ebbtide's Revenge • The Bloom Is Off the Rose • Sisters of the Bride • Miles to Go • There Goes the Bride, Part 1 • There Goes the Bride, Part 2 • Older and Wiser • Melodrama • Even Grandmas Get the Blues • Witness • What A Difference A Date Makes • Love for Sale • Never Yell Fire in a Crowded Retirement Home, Part 1 • Never Yell Fire in a Crowded Retirement Home, Part 2 • Henny Penny — Straight, No Chaser |
| Season 7 | Hey, Look Me Over • The Case of the Libertine Belle • Beauty and the Beast • That's For Me to Know • Where's Charlie? • Mother Load • Dateline: Miami • The Monkey Show, Part 1 • The Monkey Show: Part 2 • Ro$e Love$ Mile$ • Room Seven • From Here to the Pharmacy • The Pope's Ring • Old Boyfriends • Goodbye, Mr. Gordon • The Commitments • Questions and Answers • Ebbtide VI: The Wrath of Stan • Journey to the Center of Attention • A Midwinter Night's Dream, Part 1 • A Midwinter Night's Dream, Part 2 • Rose: Portrait of a Woman • Home Again, Rose, Part 1 • Home Again, Rose, Part 2 • One Flew Out of the Cuckoo's Nest, Part 1 • One Flew Out of the Cuckoo's Nest, Part 2 |