Larceny and Old Lace

Sophia has a new boyfriend, Rocco, who claims to be a hotshot much to Dorothy's annoyance, and Blanche exposes Rose's true feelings about them after reading her diary.

Plot
Dorothy returns home early to find that Sophia has invited Rocco over, who Dorothy disapproves of. Rocco appears to live the high life, and tells stories hinting at a sordid past involving the mafia. As Dorothy vents to Rose about Rocco being a bad influence on Sophia, Rose asks Dorothy if she thinks Blanche has been picking on her lately. As Blanche walks in and Rose greets her, Blanche responds with a scathing insult, causing Rose to leave. Dorothy confronts Blanche for her behavior, to which Blanche explains Rose has been writing nasty things in her diary about them. Dorothy is affronted by Blanche invading Rose's privacy by reading her diary, but listens anyway to the excerpts Blanche reads out in which Rose calls two "pigs" disgusting and being annoyed by their living habits. Despite Dorothy's insistence that they should never read Rose's diary, she is caught moments later by Blanche trying to unlock the diary to read more.

Rocco later brings in his valuables to the girls' house, helped by Sophia. They claim there has been robberies at Rocco's building, and is moving his valuables for safekeeping. Rose then comes in and finds Dorothy and Blanche with her diary next to a set of pliers, and eventually realizes the girls have been trying to read her diary. She is upset at them, and the girls confront Rose about the things she has written. Rose storms off, claiming they are no longer friends.

Later that night, the girls approach Sophia one by one for help about their situation, much to Sophia's annoyance. Dorothy and Blanche at last learns there had been an misunderstanding, and that the "pigs" Rose referred to in her diary were actual pigs she raised during her time in the 4-H in her youth, long before she had met Dorothy or Blanche. Rose is still upset at the girls breaching her trust despite their pleas to forgive them, but relents almost immediately. When the girls happily make up, a still-annoyed Sophia yells at them to get out of her room, and throws one of Rocco's bags at them. The bag opens when it hits the floor, and wads of cash spill out. When pressed by the girls where Rocco could have gotten the money from, Sophia recounts a recent visit to the bank with Rocco in which it appears he could have robbed the bank. The story is confirmed a moment later when Rocco calls Sophia and she asks him about the money.

The girls follow Sophia into the kitchen, who appears to be nonchalant about this discovery. Dorothy threatens to call the police on Rocco, but Sophia stops her, saying that Rocco admitted he acted out of love for her and that it was her fault to let Rocco believe he could only keep her if he kept buying her expensive things. Sophia claims she will turn him into the police herself if she cannot convince Rocco to do it on his own, since he is coming over to speak with her. As Sophia waits for Rocco on the lanai, the girls admit Rocco's gesture is romantic despite the circumstances, and each recount the most romantic thing a man ever did for them: Rose admits an unnamed man had all his sheep lay down on a field to spell out her name, Blanche remembers a steamy night with her then-boyfriend George and him recreating the encounter for their ten-year anniversary, and Dorothy tells about Stan's marriage proposal to her despite a mishap with the ring.

When Rocco arrives and meets Sophia out on the lanai, he proposes that Sophia run off with him to live life on the lam. Sophia refuses, saying that despite finding his past "colorful," she believed he no longer lived that life, and that kind of life was not for her. Rocco then admits that he had fabricated his stories to impress Sophia, and that he actually came from a very plain background. The cash they discovered was actually Rocco's entire modest life savings he withdrew to make it appear as if he did rob a bank. He wanted to use the money to treat Sophia to the kind of life she deserved, "like a queen." Sophia tells him that he already treats her like a queen.

Sometime later, the girls stay up playing board games. As Blanche suggests they call it a night, Dorothy says she's staying up to wait for Sophia, who has been out with Rocco again. She then gets a call from Sophia, saying that she is staying overnight with Rocco and upsets a bewildered Dorothy. Blanche asks if Sophia is okay, and Dorothy assures her she is, but is angry that Sophia is referred to as "her" mother only when Sophia does something wrong.

Guest Cast

 * Mickey Rooney as Rocco